The reason most marriages fail is that people don’t put in the effort.ħ. I could be happily married to most people, if they were reasonable.Ħ. If people would just put in the effort, most marriages would work.ĥ. In marriage, effort is more important than compatibility.ģ. Success in a romantic relationship is based mostly on how much people try to make the relationship work.Ģ. Once you have your final total, divide by 10 to get your average for this scale.ġ. For example, if you answered “6”, add a 2 to your total.
For questions 6 and 8, you need to subtract each answer from the number 8 and use the new number as your answer for that question. First add your answers for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9 and 10. Bonds between people are usually there before you meet them. The reason most marriages fail is that people aren’t right for each other.ġ0. People who are searching for a perfect match are wasting their time.ĩ. I expect my future husband or wife to be the most amazing person I have ever met.Ĩ. I couldn't marry someone unless I was passionately in love with him or her.Ħ. It is extremely important that my spouse and I be passionately in love with each other after we are married.ĥ. build) a deep intimate connection to their spouse.Ĥ. There is a person out there who is perfect (or close to perfect) for me.ģ. Success in a romantic relationship is based mostly on whether the people are “right” for each other.Ģ. To find out how you score, take the two quizzes below.Īnswer the following questions on a scale of one to seven, where one is strongly disagree and seven is strongly agree.ġ. Differences in these implicit attitudes can also help us understand the reasons that others’ romantic choices often seem inexplicable to us. Together, these two scales can tell us if we are more likely to avoid talking about issues with our partners, look for faults where they might not exist, and ‘ghost’ our way out of relationships. We might intuitively think of ourselves as more or less likely to believe in true love – but this is not something that we openly discuss with others or are conscious of when we start new relationships. They are called implicit theories of relationships (because we don’t often talk about them). One measures how much importance we put onto first impressions and early signs of compatibility, while the other measures how likely we are to work through problems in relationships.
Psychologists have found two scales that influence how we start and maintain relationships. Have you ever explained issues you have with your partner to your friends, only for them to think they are not worth worrying about? Or have you seen a friend start a new romance with someone you think is completely unsuitable but they seem to go from strength to strength?
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